Today, well more like this morning I got up and as soon as my father left for work I blared the system with Eminem since my mother hates rap. She says it's shit you can't understand. Well thats bull I understand his lyrics completely. So I cleaned the entire fucking house and went back to bed. But before doing so I asked if there was anything else she wanted done. I figured I'll keep this up with cleaning and blasting the system early in the morning then going back to bed. Nothing she can say against that.
In other news, I've been working on my story again. Not so much of writing new chapters but once again going back and revising what I've revised once already. Can't afford an editor or anything to correct errors so I'm doing that all on my own. I just need a fucking publisher ya know. I already like how the new first chapter is coming out. Last time when I revised it I liked it but there was still something that made me uneasy about it. Now I'm positive that I like it as is.
I just hope that I get it published before I graduate, then maybe I can get some money coming my way for college and my future. Boy wouldn't that be great?! I'll be the only one in the family as far as I know that'll have done something creative and got money for it. and I'd be the oly one to get a book published. It'd be great. Right now though I'm just trying to relax, my stomach hurts a bit and I can't sleep. I'm wearing 3inch heel sandals that look fabulous on me, but I'm already really tall and probably wont wear them in public.I may if I become comfortable with my height. But besides all that, there isn't much. I've actually been doing the Prayer to St. Jude in hopes of this one thing but I'm not going to put my life in the bet, they say it always works, and I'm hoping it will. If it doesn't then well... you know. But yea I guess I'm going to get back to my book.
- Mood:
creative - Music:Party People; Nelly feat. Fergie
I also slept in very late today, I guess the after math of anger can really wear you out. I talked to Kody last night or the night before since it is considered Monday now. Anyways he helped a lot. He told me he could kind of tell I was getting feelings for Tyler and he was sure Tyler knew. Along with that he said Tyler had recently gotten out of a relationship and is completely mixed up in feelings and that he is already talking about this Roan girl. Oh well I'm done with guys anyways, except for the occassionaly online affair, which I never consider an actual relationship or whatever.
Well I don't know, my brother Marcos didn't call to wish dad "Happy Father's Day" I was pretty pissed off about that. I know it kills father, after all Marcos is his only son, least he could do is call or send a card. Alright I'm done with this entry. I guess I'll get off now. Tschau.
- Mood:
tired - Music:Soldier; Eminem
But then again I shouldn't be angry or even upset with this person. So he wanted to meet my parents, big deal, Not many guys do want to meet a girls parents, I guess that threw me off. So the plan was to have him meet them today. You know he had no other plans, said yeah ok. And it was set just without a given time or anything. But hey! He was suppose to come.
So I know his usual day, get up early work out or whatever then go back to sleep and stay asleep till 1:30 maybe 2:30. Alright he can come at 3:00 pm. No big deal. But I call just to leave a message saying "Hey are you still coming? If no thats totally cool, no bother or whatever." at 12:15 pm.
Could he call back soon? Or anywhere around that time? NO! He calls at 3:37 to tell me he went swimming and he wouldn't be able to make it. I just laugh it off and say it's cool but curse myself for even thinking he was worth my fucking time. We had things to do today and had to delay them because he couldn't call earlier to tell me he's blowing me off to go swim.
He said at the carnival he wanted to meet my parents to show them he wasn't a sleeze or a loser...but you know, my parents don't need to see it. They just need to see that I'm happy. He had to prove to me that he's not a sleeze or a loser. Well so much for that. I guess no matter how much I tell myself I'll find someone before graduation, it wont matter because I wont be able to trust any guy out there. Adam sure as hell pulled a number and then Vin kept hurting me by shunning, Matt pssh what a waste of time, Kris and Jimmy they both moved on real fast.
Well I'll just be living proof that not only am I a miracle, making it through both condom and birthcontrol. But as well as the only female of my generation to stay single. I'm done with hopes of dating, and I'm through with guys. And if any of them think they can sweep me off my feet, well they better have nut protection, for I will drop kick them and smash their balls.
Love in the opposite sex wont exsist to me, but love and adoration will exsist for my dog, Jasmine. For no man will ever love me more than my dog. I guess all thats left is to go drench the fire licking at my gut and get some wear on my tennis shoes. Till then. Tschau
- Mood:
infuriated - Music:Sorrow; Fly Leaf
My mother and I went to Kenwood Mall with my all time favorite sister Sara. I got two books and we bought my father three books. Other than that we did a lot of window shopping. Earlier I had received a text message from Tyler saying "Hey me and k r going biking" I just stared at it like...wtf? It was so random so I called his phone asking why he sent that, if he was inviting me along or something. I didn't get a reply so when I got home I called up Kody and asked him what was up. He said that he and Tyler had been out biking and I said yea I get that from his text message can you ask him about it? So I find out that text message was suppose to go to his mother. I laugh and say oh yea because I was just really confursed. Lody mentions how they are at the cone and I said "Ohhhh you two should stop by my house, I don't live too far from there" And he says, "Uhh...well I don't know, we're pretty tired out...well uhh let me ask but I don't know, uhh probably not but maybe, maybe we'll stop by." So I laugh it off and said I was just joking and it's cool. I get off the phone and take Jasmine for a walk and on the way back I hear pedalling and turn and theres Tyler. Omg seriously, they've been out since a bit after 11 am and it was almost five.when he came by. Plus my house is in the opposite direction from the way they had to go to get home. Seriously! That's...really sweet. and I know Tyler had the say in it.
Bonus to that since i had Jasmine with me she didn't growl or bark or anything like that at him, She ALWAYS barks and growls and avoids my guy friends. it was insane. Though Tyler and Kody and I couldn't talk long, Jasmine was getting antsy to go home so I dropped the leash and ran after her and waved to them.
I don't know Tyler is just confusing me so much, and by the time I got the dog in and got my bike out they were gone so I was a little bummed but I didn't expect them to wait, I didn't say anything anyways and plus they needed to get home. I hope in the future they'll invite me along on one of their biking trips, It'll be killer for me but I would really love to go.
I called him a little bit ago apologizing for taking off so quickly and asked that if it was ok for him if I could tag along the next time he and Kody do this. I doubt he'll say yes though.
Well I'm really tired and can't think of anything else. Tschau
- Mood:
curious - Music:Be Mine: Jennifer Lopez
<--- thats the tattoo I want done- Mood:
anxious - Music:All Around Me ; Fly Leaf
Once we walked out of there, we went into the basketball court area and looked at the gift baskets and the displays. then leaned against a wall to cool off. Some girl looked at me and said "I like your shirt!" I smiled and thanked her. Tyler laughed and said "What did she say?" I told him and he looked at my shirt and smiled then went back to texting. I saw Ryan Armstrong, I didn't bother saying "hey" or anything. We continued to walk around and kept going back to his parent's booth. It was getting darker out and Taylor said she was getting her friend to go on the pretty spinning ride, said it would cost $8. Meaning $4 for each of us. Tyler and I, I went to go up and pay my own ticket but instead Tyler bought mine...he wouldn't let me buy anything so that was really sweet of him. We went on the ride and of course there's always the dumb blondes screaming their heads off, No really it was only the blondes that were screaming, I checked. I just laughed, the feeling was great. We got off and I was a little dizzy, like everyone else, but that dizziness clears up quickly.
When we were walking to go back into the church lobby, Tyler out of no where grabs my shoulder, I don't tense up or jump or anything I just look over at him. He keeps looking forward before looking at me and gives a small smile and said "I'm still a little dizzy" and lets go, I highly doubted that he was still dizzy but, whatever he says. When we made our next round through the church, to his parent's booth and back down by the rides. From there we ran into his friend, I believe his name was Dave, and he was accompanied by none other than Andrew, shyness crept up my spine again and I stood out of view from Andrew. Though things didn't go my way of course because Dave says "Dude I didn't know you had a girl friend" That blew over my head and once Tyler was explaining it hit me and I yelped "Wait ...what!" and of course Andrew looked over and started laughing.....Wonderful. After that Tyler mentioned how he would like to meet my parents. I say, "You do?" and he says "Yea they seem cool" and I reply with "They do?" he just laughs and I smile and say "Well my father is in bed now but my mother will still be up, if you want you can meet her. We looked around some more and not long after that he tried to find Taylor and when he can't he asks if I would like to walk to the Jeep instead of taking the bus. I say "Sure, that'd seem nice" and he replied with "It's not that long of a walk soo." and I say "Yea lets go" So we walk and came upon one spot where I was pretty sure it was a water drain and said "Do you think there's water in there?" It was dark so it was hard to tell if it was a water drain, he says I don't know and with that we stepped in and sure enough lots of water and mud and I lost my shoe in it!. Great. SO I look around get my shoe out and laugh about that. He brings up my voicemail and how I say "Heyey!" and everytime he thinks it's me. I laugh and we talk about other peoples voicemails like that.
We get into the Jeep and on the ride home we talk about music, directions, I laugh at his unsureness and he laughs too. And once we pull up I say "Alright you want to meet my mum?" He looks at the windows and says I don't think anyones up...are you sure?" I laugh and point to the far right window and say thats my room, I forgot to turn the light off, and if you look to the far left you can see a little bit of light, that's the living room. My mom is still up." He says ok and I run up buuttttt my mom is on the phone and says "no" So I go back down and apologize. He looked so out of place like he was trying to make his mind up. I wonder now if he wanted to kiss me but was afraid of how I'd react. He knows I've never had a first kiss before. So he says he'll come sometime and we say bye and he leaves.
It was honestly a great time. We've already got plans to hang out at my place to play video games and for him to meet my parents then next week to go to his Uncles to go swimming, just him and I. So I'm looking foreward to it.
I know this was an extremely long entry but I just didn't feel like cutting it off again. Well I guess I'll be writing more tomorrow. Till then. Tschau.
- Mood:
mischievous - Music:Pocketfull of Sunshine: Natasha Bedingfield
Other than this I went to this carnival/festival thing. See my friend Josh, told us all about this St. Max fesival a while back ago on May 28 or so. I said I wouldn't have a ride, but I wish I could go. And Tyler whom I've known of since fourth grade that I was now just actually getting to know said he would take me and Josh and his girlfriend could go. In a way I felt as though I had been tricked into a double date but oh well. So that weekend comes up and I find out that Josh's sources were wrong, the festival wasn't until the next weekend or this past weekend. Well Tyler picked my up on Saturday at 6:40 ish and I met his family, who all are incredibly nice, his mother is beautiful. Though Tyler really doesn't look like his parents. I don't know. But I don't feel like telling all the little tidbits so you'll just have to wait till my next entry.
- Mood: hopeful
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